A GENTLE ANSWER

Proverbs 15.1
A GENTLE ANSWER
A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.

SOLOMON GIVES ANOTHER PROVERB highlighting again the power of words. What we hear affects us, often considerably. The ears are inroads into our soul, soothing or upsetting our disposition. Those of us who have witnessed a bitter quarrel or an acrimonious debate will remember how words served as fuel to fire. The tempers rose and fell according to the kind of words (and the tone of voice) used.

A harsh word, we are told here, stirs up anger. But why should anyone want to stir up anger? The answer is simple. The one who lets out the harsh word is an angry person. He is simply "dumping" his anger on another person. His harsh word sets off a chain-reaction of anger. He may find some temporary relief having got his feelings "off his chest," but the problem is not solved. In fact, it is compounded — because then it was one angry person, now there are two!

Anger has a way of aggravating itself. Proverbs gives us this vivid picture: "For as churning the milk produces butter, and as twisting the nose produces blood, so stirring up anger produces strife" (30.33). Anger does all kinds of things to our body's system. We feel our heart pumping with rage, our stomach doubling up in knots, our adrenalin rushing through the arteries, our muscles all tensed up. The end product is strife. Anger rises by degrees, till it boils over and the harm becomes irreparable.

What we need is a gentle word to ease our nerves. Again, we witness the power of the word. Solomon recommends us the "gentle answer" or literally, a "soft" answer. The tone of voice is as important as the words said. See how much it can accomplish: "Through patience a ruler can be persuaded, and a gentle tongue can break a bone" (25.15).

Gentleness should not be mistaken for weakness, for a soft answer can be as powerful, in a good sense, as a sledge-hammer. Admittedly, it takes greater effort to speak gently and wait patiently, but the results are far better. Our supreme example is our Lord Jesus. "'He committed no sin, and no deceit was found in his mouth.' When they hurled insults at him, he did not retaliate; when he suffered, he made no threats" (l Pet 2.22-23). May we all be like our Master.

Do I dump my anger on others?