A QUARRELSOME WIFE

Proverbs 21.9, 19
A QUARRELSOME WIFE
"Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife."

SOMEONE QUIPS THAT THERE ARE FOUR rings in courtship and marriage. First, there is the telephone ring, then the engagement ring; after that, the wedding ring, and before long, the suffer-ring. While Proverbs extols the beauty of married life (e.g. 31.10-31), it does not hide from us the less pleasant side of marriage.

In several places, we are introduced to the quarrelsome wife. Nothing irks a man more than a naggy woman. In fact, women themselves dislike nagging, even if they are guilty of it. To nag is to find fault with, to remind constantly, and annoy continually. No doubt a victim of such nagging (from his 700 wives and 300 concubines!), Solomon describes the agony in vivid terms: "...a quarrelsome wife is like a constant dripping" (19.13).

Have you ever tried to sleep with a faulty tap drip-drip-dripping in your ear? It is a relentless annoyance enough to drive you mad! At least, with a tap, you can get it repaired the next day. Solomon is not so hopeful about a nag: "A quarrelsome wife is like a constant dripping on a rainy day; restraining her is like restraining the wind or grasping oil with the hand" (27.15-16). No wonder, the husband is driven up the wall onto the roof (see also 25.24), or into the desert (21.19)!

One way to understand nagging is to remember one difference between men and women. Mary Deatrick in Sexual Maturity for Women (Vision House Publishers, 1976), observes (page 110), "Men tend to have to be told again and again, but women tend to never forget." This set of contrasting tendencies between the male and the female nature is no doubt the root of many quarrels.

Perhaps, one way to eliminate nagging in a marriage is for the husband to remember more and the wife to remember less. If the husband could be less forgetful and the wife more forgiving, there would be less contention in the home. All the more, as we are reminded again that a home is not the place, but the relationship. Without love (to remember) and forgiveness (to forget), it would be better to live in the corner of a roof than in the most palatial house.

Do I nag or do I make someone nag?