DRAWING OUT DEEP WATERS

Proverbs 20.5
DRAWING OUT DEEP WATERS
"The purposes of a man's heart are deep waters, but a man of understanding draws them out."

IN A VISIT TO A RURAL PART OF MALAYSIA, I was fascinated by a well situated in the house where we were staying. The hosts showed us how water was drawn from it. For us city folks, the task was not as easy as it appeared. It took us several tries before we could draw out half a pail of water.

Solomon compares a man's heart to a deep well. His thoughts and emotions (that is, what he is thinking and how he is feeling) are like the water in such a well. It takes some skill to draw the water out. Only "a man of understanding" will be able to do it. We sometimes hear one person saying of another, "l can never tell what he is thinking in his heart." Well, you can — if you know how to draw the water out of the well.

Many of us lack the tact and patience to understand another person. Instead of finding out the purposes of his heart, we impose ours on him. It is like pouring water into the well instead of drawing out the well's water. As fallen human beings, we all have a basic sinful, self-centred nature. We judge people by how we feel rather than how they feel.

Proverbs gives us two amusing but true-to-life examples. "Like one who takes away a garment on a cold day, or like vinegar poured on soda, is one who sings songs to a heavy heart" (25.20). You may be feeling on top of the world, but that does not mean that everyone around you is feeling the same. "If a man loudly blesses his neighbour early in the morning, it will be taken as a curse" (27.14). You may be up and about, but your neighbour may still need another hour's sleep. Your cheery "Good morning" is likely to irritate rather than exhilarate!

To understand is to empathise, literally, to enter into the feelings of someone. You can't do that unless you first know what these feelings are. You have to help the person open up. Then only will you be able to draw his emotions out. Jesus provides a supreme example of "a man of understanding." The people he spoke to opened up to him: the Samaritan woman, Zacchaeus, Simon Peter, the dying thief on the cross.

Let us ask ourselves if we love people enough to want to know how they feel. Do we seek to understand them, or are we merely projecting ourselves on others?

Do I have the tact and patience to understand another person?